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Archives: April 2010
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Archives: April 2010
Being cyber savvy
By Sarah Etheridge
Its not easy making new friends and even keeping in touch with the ones we’ve got already can be a bit tough. That’s why I love things like Facebook and myspace, I can keep in touch really easily, see what my friends are up to and occasionally get nice messages and encouragement in return! I’m not saying that it’s a total substitute for real life friends I can hang out with, but for the bits in between, it’s a really good way of keeping in touch.
I’ve had a LOT of conversations with my friends about the good and bad stuff about Facebook and on the whole, we all like it, but there’s a few pointers we’ve picked up along the way - I hope some of them are useful!
Think carefully about who you allow to become your ‘friend’
Once you’ve accepted someone to be your ‘friend’ online, you’re giving them permission to access a whole load of information about you that you’ve marked as viewable to your friends.
If you don’t feel comfortable accepting their request then don’t. If you DO accept them then remember that you’re in charge of what they get to see and read. If you’re in doubt at all then use the ‘How others see you’ tool on Facebook’s privacy guide to check and make sure you’rehappy with what other people can see (most social networking sites have a similar privacy option).
Don’t let browsing turn in to spying!
A couple of my friends gave up facebook for lent – which seems a bit extreme, but they found they were increasingly spending time looking at what other people were up to, without those people ever knowing they were there.
If you find you’re looking at other people’s photos and messages then why not try and leave them a comment each time – let them know you’re thinking of them and that you love their photos (if you do). If you think it would be weird for them to know you were looking then consider whether you should be doing it!
It’s especially tempting to check up on ex boyfriends/girlfriends – you just popped over to see how they’re doing and before you knew it you were midway through a photo album of 350 pictures taken at a party you didn’t go to, full of people you don’t know. Stay away!!
Don’t let updates get too smug!
Whether you’re Twittering, Facebooking, MySpacing or blogging, be mindful of how your comments and statements are being read by others. Of course your friends should be happy for you if you’ve got a new boyfriend/girlfriend, got amazing grades at school, an awesome new laptop... but be wary about it becoming boastful (see Philippians 2v3-4 fro some advice)
Looking at ‘stuff’
If you’re looking at stuff that you definitley wouldn’t want your mum to see then have a think about why you’re embarrassed about it. How does it make you feel? Find a friend or youth leader you can trust and chat to them about your feelings. If its ‘stuff’ you’d rather not be looking at but find it too tempting then are there things you can do that make it more difficult for you to do it?
If you have a computer in your bedroom then why not move it to a more public spot like the lounge? You could sign up to an accountability programme like this one that sends your friend a message whenever you look at ‘questionable’ content (make sure you tell your friend first otherwise they might get a bit of a surprise!).
Don’t believe everything you see and read
The internet is kind of like a fancy dress shop. You get to choose any outfit you’d like and pretend you’re that person. For the majority of people, that means only posting up pictures that you look hot in (and immediately de-tagging yourself in the rough ones!), putting up status’ when things are going great and keeping the news about that embaressing incident with your mum, to yourself.
But there’s a minority of people on the internet who will get carried away with the ‘disguise’ that they create online. They might be more aggressive than they would be usually, or more flirty, or more honest.. be careful about how much information you give out online and don’t believe everything and everyone that you see, be especially wary of people you don’t know, no matter how friendly they seem.
Meeting up with online friends
Meeting online friends face to face carries more risks than other types of friendships because it's so easy for people to pretend to be something they're not when you can't see them or talk in person. Don’t ever agree to meet up with someone you don’t know on your own. If someone asks you to do this then tell a parent, youth leader or another trusted adult. Please note as well that meeting someone via the Soul Survivor Facebook or the YouTube page doesn’t in any way vouch for them being a safe and friendly person.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is when people send cruel or bullying messages to you online. These might be people you’re not friends with any more or other people you know. They can be annoying, upsetting or even scary. If you get messages like this it’s usually better not to respond. Just like all bullies, people who bully others online are likely to be angry people who are looking for attention or a reaction.
Fortunately this doesn’t happen very often, but if you’re getting bullied online or you know someone who is, it won’t go away just by ignoring it. Tell an adult that you trust: a parent, teacher or youth leader and ask them for help. This is especially important if you’re feeling intimidated or threatened.
When good goes bad
If you ever get involved in a chat room/ Facebook/MSN type conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable or in danger for any reason, exit and log off and tell a parent or other adult right away so they can report the incident.
If you think you should report someone for the way they’re behaving online then head to this website (or show it to a parent/youth leader):
www.ceop.gov.uk
The stories we remember about people using the internet are often the scary ones, but its good to remember that the internet on the whole, is an amazing resource, its packed full of all sorts of wild and wonderful things and gives us exciting and fresh ways to stay in touch with friends.
Be wise and cyber savvy, chat to a parent if you’re concerned or worried about anything and enjoy your life on the world wide interweb.
About the author
When sarah’s not surfing the web or writing articles, you can find her at the soul survivor headquarters where she is responsible for communications and making the office look pretty. She regularly wins the award for messiest desk.
Soul Survivor is a Christian charity that puts on events for young people. Our registered charity no. is 1080720. We are also a company limited by guarantee in England & Wales. Our company registered number is 03991111, which is nice. Thanks for caring.
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