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Archives: November 2009
Reality...
Archives: November 2009
Finding Mr Right...
Natalie Gill
We all go to university for different reasons; for some of us one of the joys of going is the hope that we might meet the person that we are going to marry. I know that many of my friends couldn’t wait to start uni to meet new people and check out the Christian talent!
Ironically, my good friends from the church I attended at Uni, and myself, hooked up with guys from our local churches back home and are engaged or married to them now!
God in his grace did provide us with solid men who loved Jesus but they weren’t in the places we were looking! What we learnt through our experiences was that ultimately our ways are not like God’s, and he desires that our hearts are first and foremost won by him.
In other words, that we enjoy walking with God in the small steps of everyday life, acknowledging him in all that we have. Practically this means thanking him for what we have been blessed with, becoming part of a local church and plugging in with life there, serving and loving others that we live with, and -of course- being active in our relationship with God.
As the writer of Proverbs says:
“In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight”
(Proverbs 3v6)
My friends and I found that we didn’t know when or if God would provide a man for us but we got on with enjoying our lives and being involved in our relationship with God, which we were later to discover, made us more attractive to our spouses!
I met my fiancé, Dave, through running a local youth event at my home church when I was at school. Initially I didn’t think he was ‘the one’ since he was more like an Irish rogue than an English gent! God humbled me a lot and highlighted my false perceptions. Little did I relaise but Dave turned out to be a man who loved banter but also loved the Lord, and was committed to him.
The reality is our relationship has not been smooth since we broke up twice before we got engaged. As you can imagine I have wrestled with God asking him what or if ‘the one’ exists and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that God has things in his hands.
For some people they believe that God has purposely brought them together with their partner, whilst others believe that ‘the one’ is a myth. I believe that God can work any way he desires; it is hard to analyse how he brings people together since everyone’s ‘love story’ is so unique.
With some couples God may have specifically called them together but for me and many of my friends we have enjoyed friendships with our male friends first, and then prayed and waited to see what developed.
Sometimes we got it wrong and the relationships didn’t really go forward. Whilst other times, by grace, God allowed the relationship to really develop deeply, and now some of those relationships are being brought into marriage.
Either way, when you marry someone they become the one. I realised that Dave was the one I would give my life to because of his persistence in loving me no matter what, and because he came to be my closest friend, which allowed me to trust him with my life.
God has taught me that the journey of being in a relationship, which has Jesus at its centre, has so much to do with the individual’s heart being centred on Christ in the first place. It is worth resting and being satisfied in him first and then we can handle what else God blesses us with.
I have found that making solid friendships with the opposite sex and enjoying building upon those good friendships at Uni is a very practical way of enjoying God’s gift to us. God always gives us what is best; at uni his gifts may come in the form of solid friends or even a marriage partner - or it may be discipline to ensure that we move on from where we are, so that ultimately we become more like Jesus.
This is very freeing when we are wondering if uni is the place where we will meet our other halves because we can trust in God that by humbly walking with him each day, we are right where he wants us to be!
About the writer...
Natalie was a student at probably the best university in the world (Exeter), but is now currently doing a year with Frontiers Church Exeter. As you'll have read she's engaged to the 'Irish Rogue' Dave
and they are getting married next year. Well done them.
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