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archives: april 2011
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archives: april 2011
life is a storm
by robbie thomson
"Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes.”
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
There is something about those couple of lines that I have never been able to shake off. They’re like bits of literary sellotape stuck to my shoe. Ever since I first read them 8 or 9 years ago, they have hung around the yawning expanse of my brain, waiting to be addressed.
So here is their address. But more importantly, here is the addressing of the issue they bring up. The issue of manliness and what it means to be a man.
I like to think of myself as a man. As Johnny English puts it, I’d like to think of myself as the type of man who could be "dropped in the Kalahari Desert, with nothing but a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons and still make it to Bulawayo beforeRamadan"
But what is it that dictates our perception of manliness?
Society suggests a man should have chiseled good looks, athletic ability, a collection of starched white vests and biceps with the circumference of the M25. It appears that manliness is more often than not associated with strength, dependability and toughness.
Throughout Biblical history, great men of the Bible are defined by their manliness and strength. In 1 Kings 2:1-2 David turns to his son Solomon and says “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man.” Let’s not forget this is the same David who felled Goliath with his jockstrap and some pebbles.
In Judges 15 we read of the super-human exploits of Samson going nuts against the Philistines. “He found a fresh jawbone of a donkey, reached out his hand and took it, and killed a thousand men with it.” Whenever I read this, the 5 year old me wets himself with excitement and awe at the sheer strength and determination of the man.
And I think that’s where the crux lies. Strength, dependability, conquering heroes, they are all really cool concepts to us guys. We like watching war films, we love superhero comics and gorge on epic historical battles.
Directly born out of this we convince ourselves of the simple calculation that strength equals success. No space is made for feelings or emotions. We don’t show weakness, fear or insecurity and heaven forbid we should cry.
But if we hop back to the Bible, we see a transformation take place. It happens roughly half way through. Suddenly after all the face punching and donkey-jaw-bone wielding of the first half we get to the altogether different second half. Suddenly we read of love, respect and forgiveness.
This transformation corresponds with the time Jesus did his sell-out tour of the Middle East. His teaching brought in a new wave of thinking, vastly different to the old style. He began breeding ideas of loving one another, not resolving every argument with a fisticuffs and not seeking revenge at every given opportunity. In Matthew 5: 38-39 we read, “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”
Within this new teaching, ideas were born for what defined a man. In Luke 15:20 we read one of Jesus’ parables about the prodigal son. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Here is the most poignant picture of Jesus’ love. And Jesus chooses a man to show it. He describes a father’s love for a son. A man’s love. We might question the masculinity of this scene but we’d be dead wrong. Through this we are shown a picture of total Jesus-shaped manliness.
Jesus showed us that men and emotion aren’t mutually exclusive concepts. He showed us that love and feelings are as much a part of being a man as anything else. He showed us that it isn’t weak to forgive someone, to love someone, to respect someone or maybe cry with someone.
Added to that, Jesus gave us countless examples of his manliness, his grit, determination and strength. His torture on the cross bears testament to that. For hours he was flogged and beaten, kicked and abused and yet still carried his cross. He took more than any man could take. He did all of this, not out of showmanship or a cavalier attitude, but out of love, that seemingly “un-masculine” ideal.
And as the Bard would say, “therein lies the rub”.
How, as men do we approach the idea of manliness and masculinity with the right attitude? How will we approach the storms of life when they come?
In our day to day lives, how will we decide to handle ourselves? How will we approach our relationships in our workplace, our family lives and social situations? I think we should learn from the example of David. He was a great man of God, a warrior and a leader yet also a poet, a singer and in 1 Samuel 13:14 a man described as “after God’s own heart”.
David, and then latterly Jesus, redefined what it meant to be a man. Their determination, strength, physical fortitude and toughness were coupled with vision, passion and creativity.
They proved that real men cry, real men don’t shy away from loving someone or putting their pride and heart on the line time after time. They proved that real men take a knock and get back up again. But most importantly, they showed that a real man acts out all of this with love.
I don’t know about you, but I fancy being a real man.
About the author
Robbie works for Soul Survivor, generally being very manly by lifting things and talking in a strong Northern accent (because he's from Sunderland). He knows everything about sport ever, likes a good Tweet now and then and has a very unmanly taste in music (Abba, Mariah Caery and such like being some of his fave Spotify plays).
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