search the site...
The Magazine
Archives: January 2011
Reality...
Archives: January 2011
The post exam plan...
By Rosie Wills
This time 5 years ago I was terrified. I was about to face my A level exams that term, with about the same attitude I’d have if I was told to climb Mount Everest: How am I supposed to do all that?! Spiritually I was a mess. My heart was all wrong. I was so focussed on myself that, looking back, I know I missed a great opportunity.
My friends were trying to drag me to church, but I wasn’t really going. I wanted to know what God wanted me to do with my life because…well, what was the point to all this work?
But I was pretty sure that I didn’t have any hidden skills or talents that would be useful to God – that was something that happened to other people. So I decided that I needed to focus on sorting out my life, getting on top of my grades, passing these flipping scary exams! Maybe God would tell me what to do with the rest of my life if I could just get a bit better at everything? I started to really hate being me.
For all I knew, life was going to carry on like that forever. When someone asked me to volunteer for Soul Survivor that year, the application form sat on my bedroom floor. Volunteer? What use would I be? What was I ever good at? I didn’t think it was an opportunity, I thought it was an embarrassing mistake. So I forgot all about it and focused on my exams.
The thing about exams is that they seem to swallow up everything in your future until all you can see ahead of you is the dreaded day when you’ll sit down in that exam hall. It seemed like it would never end.
But strangely enough, it was fine. It wasn’t fun, and it was really stressful at times, but the months leading up to it had probably been much worse than the exams themselves and all that stress and anxiety was suddenly over a week later, leaving me still confused about what would happen next. Where was the Plan?
By January 2007, although it was only a year later, I felt like a different person. I’d gone to university, I’d worked through my first term and I’d met loads of new people.
With a bit of perspective I realised that I’d missed out during the A Level exam stress because I’d spent more time looking in on myself than I spent looking out at all the opportunities I’d had. So I started over in 2007 with a resolution to try new things, and not miss any more chances.
That summer I did some temping in the Soul Survivor office while they got ready for that year’s events, and by July they were desperate for people to help on the team that I’d turned down a year before, so I signed up at the last minute. It still seemed just as scary as before and I still didn’t see what use I would be, but I was going to give it a go. I was going to be on the Comms team: answering customer’s questions, helping team members find things they needed, while at the same time listening to and answering the radios, with a small team, most of whom hadn’t done it before either.
It was daunting to have to speak on the radio but after the first few times it seemed totally normal, until I was having a great time talking to everyone, meeting loads of new people, solving problems and answering questions. I didn’t need to have any special skill to be there because I was helping just by being myself and working hard at whatever I did, and praying hard when I was scared or worried that I would mess up! I learned everything I could need to know very quickly, got loads of confidence in talking to people, and I loved every minute of it.
So finally I was there, a year later than I probably should have been, realising something brilliant about God. He hadn’t been waiting for me to be more spiritual. He hadn’t been waiting for me to get good at something. He hadn’t been waiting for me to grow up. He was waiting for me to just try something!
I didn’t see God having a plan for me, but when I started to take chances and rely on God to get me through, I discovered I was already in the middle of one! If I’d been able to see past what I was struggling with a bit sooner, I could have spent a whole year getting to know God by relying on Him instead of trying to make it through on my own and I could have learned a lot quicker that God would use me to do great things if I would just look up and see them coming!
About the author
Rosie works with us at Soul Survivor and it's very likely to be her voice you hear first if you ever give the office a call. She has a degree in English, lives in Chorleywood and is very nice indeed.
Soul Survivor is a Christian charity that puts on events for young people. Our registered charity no. is 1080720. We are also a company limited by guarantee in England & Wales. Our company registered number is 03991111, which is nice. Thanks for caring.
e. info@soulsurvivor.com | t. 0303 333 1 333
Soul Survivor | Unit 2 Paramount Industrial Estate | Sandown Road | Watford | Herts. | UK